Monday, August 29, 2011

Why I Can't Find A Husband

I Want To Get Married Too
The Messy Life of Dating

Living in today's world is not the same as the world grandma and grandpa grew up in. Women search the world over for "Mr. Right," only to end up with Mr. Right Now. Most men don't want to get married, and rightfully so. Why get married when so many women make themselves so sexually available for the world pickings. The opportunity for men in today's Meat Market of dating is a Slaughter House for Women. Men are chopping away at every chance they get to put women on "Cutting" boards. If your looking for a quality male for matrimony, Good Luck! The pickings are slim. If you have not snagged your knight in shinning "bull shit' by the age of 20, don't expect miracles in your 30s and 40s. Don't spend your 40s meeting 40+ males reciting "He's a good man-I can't believe he's single." There are valid reasons why these men are single (Do the math), or pretending to be single. Too many women parading the face of this earth for good men to be single. The only men that stay single are the ones not worth being with...

16 comments:

  1. its hard to find a man, let alone a husband. good luck!

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  2. Sometimes I wish the world was like grandma and grandpa. I like the Meat market analogy. gives great prospective of the situation. Jood jog!

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  3. "There are valid reasons why these men are single (Do the math), or pretending to be single."

    You would think that educated and sensible women would do the math but unfortunately they don't. They are the ones who are mostly blind to this.

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  4. Don't expect miracles in your 30's or 40's? Um HELLO there are plenty of guys in that age range out there, simply because they have had their own set of bad relationships.

    I am not exactly sure what this blog is supposed to say. Give up when you hit a certain age? Awesome. Way to put guys in a crappy light. As a 30+ single male this kind of thing ticks me off, and just makes me sad.

    And I am sorry but I am single because I got out of a long term relationship because I wasn't ready to get married (because SHE wasn't the right person for me...). Why is this such a stigma? There are already so many stigmas for men out there and now because of our age we "must not be worth it"? Again, thank you for making nice guys like me feel even worse when we are trying to find a good person to spend the rest of their lives with.

    Here is a clue. Look for the guy that wants to be with you... For you. NOT because you dress well. NOT because you act sexy. NOT because you are perfect. Because he wants you, FOR YOU. All of your faults. ALL off your wierdness. and as long as you understand that he will have these strange things too, then you will also find that person that is that great thing in your life.

    Stop looking for "the one" and start looking for someone who can accept (and who you can accept) everything that is you. Period. He might not be Antonio Banderas, but he will be yours and WANT to be yours.

    From a nice 34 year old single guy....

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  5. Ya know I just had to comment again. There are plenty of guys out there that are not looking for their trophy wife, or are looking for that "pretty young thang". There are plenty of guys that are realistic and know darn well that they aren't a rockstar and just want someone that understands them.

    Sure those guys out there can be goofy and weird, and may have strange habits. But that's what you get when you want the stability that I assume many people want. I am a geeky guy that loves cartoons, and computers. Am I undesirable? I have no idea. But I don't want to think that my age makes me instantly understandable just simple because I had a bad chunk of relationship life.

    I am NOT a bad boy, nor am I some badass biker dude. But at the same time, I don't expect to attract a supermodel or the most radiant beauty ever. I expect to attract a normal human being that is normal. Who might have stretch marks. Who might be heavier then the national average (heck I am heavier myself). I don't honestly care about all that crap. I want someone that can accept me for just being me.

    And why I chose this blog to unload on, I have no clue, but well you hit a nerve. This kind of stuff is really unfair. I could tell stories left and right about how women have expectations of men that are unrealistic. Do I think all women are bad? heck no. but saying that just because you get to a certain age, all men suddenly aren't marriage material is load of crap.

    We want stability just as much as you do, but there are plenty of things to be scared of when figuring out if a woman is marriage material or not. Just as much as there are "valid" reason why a guy is still single, that goes both ways. It honestly does. the saying "it takes two to tango" comes to mind. women are not perfect either. anything from emotional incompatibility, to sexual compatibility, to even just personality conflicts can destroy relationships. And this can be found in both men and women.

    there is a reason why both men and women are single in their 30's on, but to simply blame men isn't fair. Ugh sorry for the log-likfe reply...makes me wonder i should start one myself.....

    And no offense to the poser, but again, I guess you hit a nerve and i apologize if I come harsh. I just try to defend my stupid male gender (ugh they are morons sometimes) when I can.

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  6. Most men in their 30s and 40s have relationships. They come across as single, but already have a woman.

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  7. I totally agree with you M. Most women blind themselves listening to what a man say's when she meets him. Most men are first class liars.

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  8. "Don't spend your 40s meeting 40+ males reciting "He's a good man-I can't believe he's single." There are valid reasons why these men are single (Do the math), or pretending to be single. Too many women parading the face of this earth for good men to be single. The only men that stay single are the ones not worth being with..."

    What does this say about women who are single at that age then?

    Seriously. This is the sort of blithe clap trap that muddies the waters and keeps folks cynical to the point of never being able to connect to real people, which is part of the problem of connecting, post divorce, post long term relationship, post living a gottverdammt life full of ups and downs.

    You want to find someone? Then do it. Be honest. Be brave. Be brash. Be YOU. They don't get that, then move on, and stop trying to settle for something, as opposed to finding something good. The "pickings" are the same as they've always been. There are bright folks, there are sad folks, there are broken folks, there are damaged folks, there are right folks, there are wrong folks. You might start by taking a long hard look at yourself though, as opposed to blaming the field or men or other women.

    Be you. They get that, or they don't. They don't, that's not a sin, that's the way things play out. Not everyone is for everyone. Trying and failing to connect isn't a sin, it just means that you've ruled out someone that isn't right. Desperation? That is a nasty scent, and that drives folks off. Be good with you. Be good with where you are, and WHO you are, you'll find folks who connect soon enough. Or you will, if you stop sabotaging yourself by doing the same dumb things over and over and over again. Hitting a brick wall the seventh time in a row isn't the wall's fault, it's yours. Own that, and move on.

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  9. Where do you come up with this particular brand of idiocy? You generalize the behavior of all men without giving consideration to other viewpoints or providing any backup whatsoever for your opinions. I hope you do not depend on writing to support yourself, because your intellect is just not up to the task.

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  10. "Most men don't want to get married and rightfully so" followed up by "The only ones that stay single are the ones not worth marrying"

    I'd explain it to you, but honestly, it's just not worth my time.

    Let's just say that logic is stupifying.

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  11. Last year in the US, there were 4,340 people killed on the job. More than 96 per cent of them were male.

    It's horrifying but add traffic accidents, risky sports and whatever else life throws at you and there's a male shortage even though there are 105 boys born to each 100 girls.

    This means that when you're young, and reasonably pretty, women can pretty much choose whom they like because there's a surplus of women in relation to men. Add some years and lo and behold, once you factor in attraction, class, values and everything else , the number of men women have to choose has shrunk.

    So, you have to do more than hang up a sign saying "Husband wanted: please apply."

    Sorry, but it's a numbers game.

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  12. Don't expect miracles in your 30's or 40's? Um HELLO there are plenty of guys in that age range out there, simply because they have had their own set of bad relationships.

    I'm not here to bash men. I fully understand why some men choose to be single...

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  13. I'm a male in my 30's and still single, so I must not be worth being married to. I thought I might be, but you set me straight. Thanks. :-)

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  14. I agree with the original poster. Some of you are all bent out of shape over the subject. There are a lot of single women wanting to get married, but a lot of guys don't. Enjoy the blog...

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  15. This is simple!!! Why cant you find a husband?... well it's because you're looking for a husband! Nothing spells out desperation like someone giving interviews for a husband. You have to put in the time, date men and I can guarantee most men who aren't husband material will show their true colors by date #2 or #3. Just date and have fun, if you arent set on finding Mr perfect then you will probably come across Mr. Awesome and almost perfect who also wants to get married and you will soon find that after you allow your heart to fall, he will be damn near perfect.

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  16. The truth is that the men who are worth dating, you gals dont even give a second look at because they aren't tall enough, or their bank accounts aren't large enough, or they are a different race or religion. If you really want open your world to an enormous dating base, then you have to let go of your ideals... not the ones that tell you danger, but the ones that tell you. simple stuff like "I cant wear heals with him"... its just that simple.- PS Im a woman married to my best friend who's (too young, too short, and doesnt have enough money)... and Im happier than I ever thought I could be.

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